As a Warrior of sorts

I've never thought myself as a Warrior. As an Asatru-oriented pagan I often see myself at odds firstly because I'm Brazilian (and that's enough for some people abroad to claim I'm not supposed to be Asatruar) but mostly because I don't think I fit in this "warrior culture" mold that comes up with the Heathen Hammer.

Turned out I can see myself as a warrior of sorts. When I graduated I didn't make vows about fighting, but it turns out it is all about fighting, about enduring, about outthinking and outlasting, about never giving up. I am a teacher. I am not a marine, not a navy officer, not an unsung fireman or policeman, not a pilot. I can't even ride a bike.

But I took up a mantle of responsability many shared before and that now I share with countless many too. I realized that at some point in my journey I felt that it was up to me, as it must have been up to many alongside, to make a stand against this terrible monster, this terrible enemy. I picked up a fight not against a monster of myths, not against an enemy group, not against a foreign threat. I've chosen to fight ignorance, the mother of all monsters, and denounce it wherever I find it festering.

While I don't physically put myself to the test of blood and sweat, while I don't hear bullets and cuts, I do put myself to the test. I strive to endure, sometimes feeling all alone, against an overwhelming tide of ill news that show up that we are driving ourselves as a race towards disrepair and cataclysm. But I harbor hope and I don't give up, I try my best to remain sharp in mind and stalwart in heart. With each word and gesture, through my actions, I seek to make something good prevail amidst displays of ignorance beyond count.

Like many before me, like the many I stand among, and like many will do in days to come, I've chosen to fight trouble before it takes up a hideous form. I've chosen, perhaps, to dedicate a lifetime fighting ignorance, misinformation, intollerance, oppression... Evil lurking within in all its forms. I've chosen to take up a fight not against an enemy without, not against some enemy beyond, but against the enemy within.

That, I know, is a fight that can never be won, but must always be fought. I strive to be not one to give up. There can't be victory, or so it seems, so I will fight for as long as my nows come with the passing time.

There is a Hall far ahead where Warriors can drink, but there are many Halls more, and on some I think I might be welcome. Down here, far from the stars, it's easy to feel alone and ignored. But there are silent ties that bind us together with the Aloft ones, and I know I must speak because they hear.

I carry no cutting blade, I carry no projectiles to puncture flesh and bone, but I am not unnarmed. Wit and tongue and hand suffice for now.

And on this precise now I must rest, for tomorrow another sort-of-a-fight starts again. I can't lose ground. What I rallied must be thought. Ignorance stirs, but so do countless wills to lead our minds and hearts to prevail against it.

Skal!

Sobre a Vontade

O ser humano é sempre capaz de mais. De fazer um prédio mais durável, um remédio mais eficaz, uma máquina mais poderosa, uma descoberta mais impactante, a arte mais rica. Mas para isso é preciso tentar. A alegria de descobrir e conquistar não é para quem cruza os braços ou se apassiva diante da vida e dos desafios infinitos que ela oferece, ou que toma a tagarelice por ação.

É infinitamente mais fácil ser número do que ser gente. É muito mais confortável e menos desgastante ser aquele que espera do que aquele que faz, e ser aquele que ganha do que aquele que conquista. É mais fácil viver com a programação básica da preguiça e do medo do que desbravar os desafios da vida a base de coragem e sonhos. Paixão, talvez seja isso que falte para quem não se sente desafiado a viver intensamente. Aquela vontade de mudança, um desvario capaz de tirar o vivente da zona de conforto.

Barcos ancorados estão seguros nos portos, mas não foi para isso que os barcos foram feitos. Pode-se passar toda uma vida boa com o mínimo, ou lutar-se para conquistar muito mais. Perdendo ou ganhando, o que importa é a luta. É o caminho que faz crescer, pois a meta sempre pode mudar. Viagem é viagem por causa do caminho, não por causa do destino.

Sometimes it feels like I'm a rotten tree still upright but already dead. Thin and hollow. My roots suck nothing from the ground, and my trees have fallen and withered away long ago. My flowers and my fruit lay crumbling to dust before me as dreams dashed and hopes crashed.
Yet people take my verticality for a sign that I'm alive, and I can fool myself agreeing with them. I just forgot to fall down. The sap is still.